


Some kind of heaven

by CassieLisbon



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 07:37:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5531234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CassieLisbon/pseuds/CassieLisbon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three months had passed since they had defeated Mount Weather and Clarke and Lexa meet each other again. Three months in which she was driven by hatred. Based on the scene from the Season 3 Ttrailer in which Clarke puts the knife to Lexas throat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some kind of heaven

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> This came on my mind a week ago and I wanted to write it down, so yeah here it is. Also english is not my first language.  
> Merry Christmas. ♥

She can remember it very well, the first time she entered the commanders tent. She still can see it in front of her, as she sat on her throne, her fingers playing with the knife in her hand, as if it were a toy and Clarke knew if she would say a wrong word, this blade would cut her throat.

These or one of the other Groundern which were standing around the two. But at this time she was willing to take that risk. She had to save her friends. She didn't want more, she just wanted to save her friends.

She didn't know how she had imagined the reunion with Lexa, after the Commander had left her standing at Mount Weather, _had betrayed her._ She couldn't believe this moment, it was like her world would standing still, while it also raced past her. This was the beginning and the end at the same time for a new life that Clarke didn't wanted to start. She couldn't describe what hurt more, that she had been wrong in Lexa or that she had indeed hope to be able to release her friends. _But she had freed them. She had done it and she didn't needed a damn grounder to._

Three months had passed until Clarke saw the Commander again. Three months in which she wished nothing more than to confront Lexa, to let her feel Clarkes pain. The pain she only had because of the brunette and the burden of the dead of the Mountain. In sleepless nights, she played through this scenario a hundred times already. What would happen if she would threaten to kill the Commander? How many of her generals would Clarke tear away from Lexa and cutting the blonde off? How many torments she would had to stand before Lexa would ram her sword in her heart and redeem her? It was a nightmare when she saw Gustus in front of her with cuts at every possible place, his skin soaked in his own blood. She still can hear Ravens cries, as she were accused to kill Lexa. Her pain echoed through the building, through the village. 

But she didn't except how the things turned out in reallity. The two were alone in this room, as Clarke pulled the knife and pressed it to Lexas throat. The brunette took a step back, but the blonde followed her. Her gaze was determined for a few seconds, determined to cut the throat of the Commander. Her eyes pierced the green one of Lexa. And from there she began to doubt. Lexas eyes showed no fear, no hate or anger, instead she lifted her chin so the Blonde had more access to her neck. Clarke's breathing became heavy, the grip on the knife was lighter, her eyes feverishly scanned every detail on Lexas face to find a sign of weakness. Lexas lips were slightly parted and she could remember it too well how they touched her own. It was the most tender thing Clarke had experienced in her life. that sweetest thing she had tried and the bitterest in her memories. 

For a brief moment she hesitate, considered to lower the knife, but decided to encompass it solid again and pressed it even more decisively to Lexas neck.  
Her eyes went to the knife and how it pressed against the skin, so the skin became white all around. 

_ She wanted it right? She wanted to do it.  _

But no matter how much she wanted to, her hand did not move. She swallowed loud. 

"Is it that what you want, Clarke?" Lexa whispered and Clarke looked her in the eyes again. Yes, damn that was it and she knew it. Lexa pressed her body more against Clarke and her throat more on the blade.  
Certainly The brunette was not unarmed, but why didn't she involve her weapons? Why did she let Clarke to do what she wanted to? Clarkes breast rose and fell rapidly as she tried to process the whole thing, what was happening in front of her. She felt the hot breath of the grounder against her face, she felt the warmth of her body against her and it made her brain dizzy.  
"Just do it" Lexa breathed, but the blonde barely reacted. She was too busy to put her thoughts in order. Perhaps, Clarke tought, Lexa was still convinced that her heart would be too weak, like she said at the time where she had to kill Quint. Or where she hadn't left Lexa to the mutant gorilla. _If she had only done it._

With a new thrust full of anger, she pressed the knife deeper at the skin until it burst open slowly and the red liquid stucked to the blade. If the Commander thought she would pinch this time, she was clearly wrong. But Lexa did not flinch as the knife pierced through her skin. 

"Do it, Clarke," she repeated her own statement. She put her own hand on the one of the blonde and pressed the knife against her throat by herself. Clarke's eyes widened at the sight, as more and more blood spurted from the skin and ran down the blade like paint. 

Before the Commander could react, Clarke pulled out her hand and knife from Lexas and let it fall to the ground. "I hate you," the blonde said and stared incredulously at the brunette. She wanted to hate Lexa so much, she wanted to let her feel all the pain, but she didn't wanted the Commander to killing herself by Clarke's hand.  
Lexa still stood there with her head high, no sign of weakness. But at least she had also put her omniscient grin. The blood still flowed from the cut on the neck and Clarke's first thought was to bring a towel or something similar to stop the bleeding. But she was still angry, probably now even angrier than before. Her goal was to kill Lexa not to spare her out of compassion. 

She clenched her hands into fists so hard that her knuckles turned white. "I hate you!" She repeated, this time a little louder, more energetic and at the same time fragile. Her body betrayed her more and more, as she began to shake.

Lexa just nodded. Clarke grabbed the first thing she could get and threw it toward the Commander. Lexa could dodge in time before the candlestick met her. But the next thing she felt was the cold floor beneath her back and the weight of Clarke on her after the blonde had tackled her to the ground. With wide eyes she stared at the girl on her. Clarke pressed with her hands Lexas shoulders to the floor and her own hips pressed Lexas down so that the brunette couldn't move. Clarke took her right hand from her shoulder, her blond curls fell into her face as she raised her hand. With a loud clap her hand hit Lexa cheek for the first time, followed by another 'I hate you'. The first time did not hurt so much as the second time that came with more force and hatred. The third punch was the most painful and Lexa bit her cheek to withstand the pain. She wanted to take the suffering of Clarke, although that was not possible. The blue eyes were watery and Lexa knew that Clarke was on the verge to collapse. 

The fourth time Clarke didn't hit her and the "I hate you", was a quiet sobbing. She put her hand back on Lexas shoulder, but pressed no longer against it. A drop landed on Lexas face and she tried to free her arm off from Clarkes handle. "I know," whispered Lexa and her thumb ran over Clarkes cheek to brush away the tears. "I know Clarke." 

The blonde closed her eyes. She was not sure if she should give in to the feeling and lean on Lexas hand. Actually, she didn't wanted the brunette back in her life, but it felt so good.

Clarke opened her eyes again and looked at Lexa as she stroked the tears from her face with concern and put blond curls back behind her ear. Clarke took a deep breath, muttered a 'Oww Fuck it' and put her lips hard on Lexas. Surprised by the action Lexa groaned against Clarke's mouth. 

Clarke layed on Lexa so now her full weight was on the brunette, without breaking the contact of her lips. Her hands pushed the Commander back into the ground, making it almost impossible for the grounder to touch the blonde. The kiss was not like her first, softly and tenderly, but aggressive and full of rage. While their tongues were fighting for the upper hand Clarke pressed her knee between Lexas thigh until she was forced to break the contact and a moan left her lips. Clarke took the opportunity and took Lexas full lower lip between her teeth and bit down, until she could taste blood. Again the Commander moaned and Clarke could hardly say whether in pain or pleasure. Clarke looked up at her, Lexas green eyes were now dark and filled with desire. 

"I still hate you," Clarke muttered before she put her lips again on the brunettes.  
Lexa chuckled. "I know." 


End file.
